Relationships
Boo-boos: How to heal from teen breakups

Jean Dertelus, 18, from Hyde Park, says he has a cure for a bad breakup.

“Flirt with other girls,” he says. Dertelus says his relationship lasted about six months and it didn’t end on good terms; he really cared about her and it was hard to get over. Heartbreaks may not be a one-time thing. They can come and go. You feel so empty and alone and that every moment spent with that person was a huge waste. Donizete Fernandes, 17, from Madison Park High School, says it’s best to seek out your circle of friends when things go wrong. “Chill with your boys more,” he says. Fernandes says he and his ex-girlfriend dated for about a year; she wasn’t right for him, he says, but they still remain friends. Ellie Caisey, 17, says you should be around friends and family to help you get over things while remaining patient. “Take time for yourself,” says Caisey, who goes to the Edward M. Kennedy Academy for Health Careers, “and wait for better to come.”
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Edmund Yu, a senior at the John D. O’Bryant School of Math & Science, doesn’t believe that you select your friends as much as they select you.

“I believe that in the world we live in we shouldn’t choose and be specific of what kind of friends we want,” says Yu. “My group of friends are an interesting group, each coming with a sense of creativity and loyalty.” Seventeen-year-old Joey Hunt, from the O’Bryant, agrees that the process of finding friends is not always as it seems. “I believe that specific people come into your life for a reason and once they’re in your life they stick around whether you like it or not,” says Hunt. “I know it’s time to cut someone off when they stop caring for me and being there for me.” In the social aspect of the new school year, many students are trying to find themselves. They are developing an interest in different activities and beliefs. As part of that, they are quickly evaluating the types of people they surround themselves with. “You choose your friends, but who you are exposed to in the world is determined by how outgoing you are and your social circle,” says Tony Nguyen, 18, from the O’Bryant. Nguyen lists his criteria for friendship as loyalty, respect, and being laid back but knowing when to be serious.
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First Person
The pain of immigration continues
  After lunch, everyone came to English class ready to learn. I was in fourth grade. I sat next to a kid named Kevin. He immediately went off about how he didn’t want me there. He yelled out in front of the whole class: “You should get on a boat and row, row, row all the way back to Africa.” When will people who migrated to America be accepted? Centuries after the first immigrants came here on the Mayflower, prejudice against the foreign-born is still causing pain. I was born in Senegal. I came to the US when I was two. It hurts deeply to know people dislike you because of where you’re from. I’ve been going through the same thing ever since I went to public schools. I remember when I entered the fifth grade, one of my classmates had the nerve to make weird noises and ask me if I understood what they meant. Of course, the whole class broke up with laughter. Recently, I was at a local gym. A boy working there wondered about my ethnicity. I told him I’m African. He asked if I lived in huts and walked around naked. Really?
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Marquicia Phillips-Gadson, 17, from Dorchester, believes that actress Taraji P. Henson has the perfect body because her top half matches her bottom half. Of course, the perception of the textbook body changes through time, and can fl wlessly switch from thick to thin. If you search the Internet for the ideal body in 2014, shapely Kim Kardashian might well appear. “I mostly see the perfect body in the media and it’s always curvy with big bottoms,” says Mikayla Willingham, 15, from Boston Latin School. It has not always been so. In the ’20s, a boyish flapper figure was the rage. In the ’30s, women accentuated their hips as they flaunted their figures. In the ’40s, slender silhouettes returned. In the ’50s, women embraced their natural non-starved bodies, like that of Marilyn Monroe. In the ’60s, it was let’s be skinny like Twiggy. In the ’70s, tanned and toned was in. In the ’80s, athletic hardbodies ruled. In the 90’s, everyone wanted the emaciated runway model look. In the 2000’s, it’s all about having hourglass bodies of thin waists and fuller frames. For 16-year-old Isaiah Bowman, who goes to school in Dorchester, that description has him declaring: “I want a girl like [actress] Meagan Good.”
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“Pookie!” A young woman calls from downstairs, awaiting her 15-year-old sister, Dominique Singletary, to answer. Singletary, from Roslindale, comes down the stairs with a sly look on her face, as if she feels too old for the nickname her sister gave her one day and it just stuck. Some nicknames come from specifications or beliefs, while others simply shorten names. And then there are those random ones, like Pookie. History is filled with characters with colorful nicknames. Thomas Jonathan “Stonewall” Jackson, a Confederate general during the Civil War, got his moniker when a military colleague saw his troops holding fast and shouted: “There is Jackson standing like a stone wall.” Baseball legend George Herman Ruth became “Babe” after ballplayers saw him being led around by his legal guardian, Jack Dunn, and declared him, “Jack’s newest babe.” Today, 16-year-old Xavier Etheridge, of Roxbury, is often called Zay by family and friends. He was given the nickname by his sister when he was little because she could not pronounce his full name and shortened it. “Yeah, it’s just comfortable for people to call me Zay,” Etheridge says nonchalantly. Jenay King, 16, calls herself J-Stacks. “I gave the nickname to myself because I get stacks,” says King,  of Dorchester, meaning she likes to make money.
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