Listen up men: this is for you. THIS IS YOUR DRILL SERGEANT GABRIELLA ANAIS DIPLAN SPEAKING. YOU HAVE BEEN OFFICIALLY DRAFTED INTO THE FEMINIST ARMY!
For all you men who proudly proclaim that you’re feminists, I’m here to inform you that it’s more than wearing a cute t-shirt; it’s a way of life. If you really want to wear your pussyhat, you’re going to have to earn it, and you can by following these steps.
PIPE DOWN AND LISTEN UP.
Society’s most egregious mistake was teaching men to speak whenever they want. It’s not that I don’t love hearing your voice, but you never know when to shut up. Look, this may be a tough pill to swallow, but it’s not always about you. A man may think that his voice is the most important one in the room, but it’s not. I guarantee you women have something to contribute to the conversation, as they always have, and always will. While this may sound cliché, sometimes the best thing you can say is nothing at all.
DO IT YOURSELF.
Men are plagued by a disease I like to call “Do-Nothing Syndrome”—when you expect a woman to do all your work for you. While it’s flattering that you think of us when you have a problem (because we’re definitely smarter than you) WE ARE NOT YOUR BABYSITTERS! By helping you out, we’ve given you the impression that we’re at your beck and call, when really we’re taking time out of OUR days to serve YOU.
WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS, SO TREAT US AS SUCH.
Women don’t owe you anything. In fact, it’s the other way around. Women are not for you to show off, we’re not your arm candy and we are definitely not your trophies. Men do not get to dictate how attractive we are, that responsibility is bestowed onto us. In all honesty, I really don’t think you get to judge considering you’re not all that attractive yourselves.
Are you scared? Good. Afraid of what your little friends might think? Good.The Feminist Army is not for the weak-minded. It’s for real men only. Are you one of them?