Eunuch. Sodomist. Homo. Gay. Queer. Proud.
The queer experience has weathered the waves of history, and each word in the queer lexicon tells its own story. These are stories of identity, experience, oppression, celebration and day-to-day life. Wondering what these words mean? When to use them? Why they came about?
Stay tuned.
Words of Identity
Queerness hasn’t always existed as an identity. It was the marginalization of queers as a group that changed sexuality from something you did to something you were. As fights for gay liberation climaxed around the world, a sense of unity became increasingly important, in language and action.
Queer: A reclaimed slur repurposed as an umbrella term for anyone who falls outside the gender binary or has a non-heterosexual sexuality. Reclaiming words sends a powerful message: what you hate about us, we are proud of. Can non-queer people use this word? It depends. Best not use it unless asked to. Some identify as and would like to be called “queer,” while others still have it used against them as a slur. If you’re not sure, just ask!
Enby: An abbreviation of non-binary. Enby isn’t always preferred among the non-binary community because it sounds diminutive. Many have suggested more adult-sounding alternatives. Remember that this too is an umbrella term and be wary of gender trinarism—the idea that there are only three genders: man, woman, and “other.” Think about what makes you a man or a woman. It might be more difficult than you think. Nonbinary people sometimes don’t know why they feel nonbinary either — it just feels right. And you know what? That’s okay.
Zie/zir/zirs: This is a neopronoun, a gender-neutral pronoun. Getting used to new pronouns can be difficult. If you mess up someone’s pronoun, no need to make a scene. A quick apology and correction will do.
Words for Intersectional Experiences
Sometimes we imagine queer people as androgynous-looking white girls in plaid or well-sculpted white boys, but the queer experience includes all that and more. These words focus on the intersections of multiple identities
Two-Spirit: an umbrella term for Native American gender-nonconforming identities intended to foster pan-Native solidarity. Some love it; some dislike how it lumps experiences of diverse cultures together and prefer words specific to their tribe—if these words survive. Perhaps you heard that two-spirits were revered in Native American cultures, and, again, this is true—sometimes. Other times they were persecuted or, sometimes, just treated as normal people.
Transmisogynoir — paralleling transmisogyny, this word describes the experiences of black trans women. 47 percent of black trans women will have been arrested at some point. The average life expectancy for black trans women is 31. While there’s been significant progress, there’s still a long road ahead.
Words for Issues Within the LGBTQ+ Community.
Like any group, the LGBTQ+ community suffers from a host of internal problems. The queer community has been continually examining what it means to be queer and what our place is in the world.
Exclusionist: Does oppression make you belong? Exclusionists try to control who can and can’t be queer, and tend to be frowned upon. After all, experiences of oppression vary wildly. Do people who suffer more belong more? But if your identity has no negative connotations, do you get to claim a label within a community formed to protect its members from oppression?
Pinkwashing: Emphasizing LGBTQ+ friendliness to distract from other oppressive, discriminatory or otherwise problematic actions. It can be easy to ignore that being gay-friendly doesn’t negate other problems. But this word’s existence shows that an effort for self-awareness is being made.
Words that Prove We Were Here All Along.
Adelphopoiesis: literally meaning brother-making in Ancient Greek, adelphopoiesis was a practice in early Christianity that joined two men in inheritance. While it sometimes joined relatives, it often joined men with no familial relation and is considered by many to be an early alternative to marriage for Christian gays.
Boston Marriage: this is exciting, because it references our very own Best City in the World! Boston Marriage refers to two cohabitating, financially independent, “single” women and references Henry James’ novel “The Bostonians,” which depicts a relationship of the kind.
Bahasa Gay: Around the world, queer communities have used codes to protect themselves from persecution and detection. Bahasa Gay is just such a dialect in use in Indonesia.
Ally. Where are you in this story?
Like with many words on this list, there are debates over what it means to be an ally. But it isn’t too difficult to start: just listen and be accepting. You might not understand everything right away. That’s okay. Don’t pretend to. You don’t have to understand to be kind. If someone tells you an identity is important to them, don’t belittle it. Remember: they’re the same person they’ve always been. The world is still a big place. There are always things we might not understand — but that’s what makes the world beautiful.
Like with many words on this list, there are debates over what it means to be an ally. But it isn’t too difficult to start: just listen and be accepting. You might not understand everything right away. That’s okay. Don’t pretend to. You don’t have to understand to be kind. If someone tells you an identity is important to them, don’t belittle it. Remember: they’re the same person they’ve always been. The world is still a big place. There are always things we might not understand — but that’s what makes the world beautiful.