AFH Photo//Aijanah Sanford
The one thing she remembers most was the pressure. At first, it seemed he really enjoyed her presence. But then, in one instant, it all changed. All she said to herself was, “Everything will be alright. Don’t worry about a thing.” But as each second went by she felt him closer and closer until eventually the room felt like a cage from which she couldn't escape.
Now she's forever trapped in this “perfect world,” and there's still that room, that couch, that cage where she lost the fight and her thoughts blanked out. Now she’s sitting down in bed, confused with tears running down her face, unable to believe. Is it true? Did it really happen? How could I let this happen?
In the meantime, she works hard to act normal. She manages to put a smile on her face everyday from ear to ear just so nobody will notice her pain. But on the inside, every day is harsh without any escape. She feels lost in this world, with no one to talk to. She feels responsible. Because she invited trouble and then failed to defend herself.
Three years went by. She was insecure; she couldn’t walk late at night and hated to fall asleep because the only thing that came to her head was that scene, that couch, that cage.
Now she is here, in a small room with only the lamp turned on; it is cold and she feels desperate—shame and distrust are holding her back. But then, that wonderful woman tells her, “I know what you're going through. I've been hurt also, and we're going to get through this. But you have show that you're strong. There's a wall, you know, that you have to break through so you can let all the good things happen to you.”
All of a sudden, in that moment, she feels safe. Safe to explode. She can't keep everything in anymore. She is feeling the woman that she could become pushing out from the inside.
So, she finally talks. Words spill from her mouth, tears spring from her eyes; a grip is loosening, a chain is breaking. With each tear and with each breath, she feels relief. And so she tries and breaks that wall between her past and what awaits her in the future. The woman hugs her, and little by little she starts realizing that in this world there are people who love her and who will support her through it all.
A few months from now I'll be in college. I am prepared. I want to become a pediatrician so kids never feel like they're alone in this world with no one to talk to. I know that in every life, including my own, there will be challenges and suffering, but I have learned that I can be strong—as long as I find the people to hold me while I find that strength.