Why is love so painful? Some people say that love is the most beautiful feeling ever. You forget every single thing that is surrounding you. But in my case, love has been the most painful thing.
This beautiful and emotional moment happened in 2014 when I lived in Bangladesh. A boy was welcomed into my life by my cousin´s suggestion. One afternoon, I was coming home from shopping by his house. I was stunned when I saw him. He was so handsome, looked so caring, like you can blindly trust him. I walked fast so he wouldn't recognize me. When I got home, I ran to my cousin and asked her all about him. Then, a surprising thing happened when I went to Facebook: I saw a friend request from him. I started to blush so hard, and I quickly accepted the friend request.
I started to look at all his pictures. He looked so adorable. I waited one full week just for him to text me first. On a Friday night, he texted me and the first hello was my first step toward him, but I didn't know what he thought of me. We talked as good friends. In the end of 2014, I only had one week left before I was coming back to the U.S., and I wanted to tell him my feelings.
One day when we were texting, he asked me if I had a boyfriend. I said no. He asked if I had a crush. I said, “Yes. I love someone, but it's just from one side.” He asked me who he was. I didn't want to tell him that way. I wanted to tell him face-to-face. I didn’t have any chance to do it. I took some time to think and decided to say everything that was in my heart. I was in shock when he said, “I just treat you as a friend.” I asked him so many times why was it like that, but his answer was always the same.
I came back to the U.S. and decided to block him on FB so I can forget about him. I cried every single night and my pillow always got wet. That's not the worst part. I had to pretend that I was happy when I was fully broken inside.
I started school; it helped me focus on something else. I added him on Facebook again. I texted him so many times, but he never replied. He was always online but avoided me. He never wanted to talk to me even after I shared everything I had in my heart. He never wanted to understand me. My first love hasn’t given me anything except a big lesson. Keep your family first, keep yourself second, keep your dreams third. I have been losing everything since I lost my first love. I know for sure that I will never forget him, no matter how old I am.